The FBI's Deapest Secret

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Today we don our reporter’s fedora, sit at our typewriter… and pursue a question truly scandalous.

We will be denounced for fanning “conspiracy theories.” Social media will excommunicate us for hawking “fake news.”

We will take the consequences as we must.

For we are hot to expose an illegal Federal Reserve of watching and stalking people.

Today we haul forth forbidden evidence.
Doesn’t the Fed Already Watch Us?

“But wait,” you say. “Isn’t it common knowledge that the Fed watches us through our laptop and phone cameras?”

Yes, it is. And it does.

Yet these are indirect influences, actions at distances, nudges at one remove.

We refer instead to a direct source intervention — and again, an illegal intervention.

It is as if the Federal Reserve has human privacy by the scruff of the neck.

And might it explain how the stalking came shooting from the depths late Friday… when all was in freefall?

They are breaking the law because the Privacy Act of 1974 clearly states: "Protects records about individuals retrieved by personal identifiers such as a name, social security number, or other identifying number or symbol. An individual has rights under the Privacy Act to seek access to and request correction (if applicable) or an accounting of disclosures of any such records maintained about him or her." this also includes watching us without consent.
So, the answer — The FBI is watching us, and we now have proof that they are, and the workers of the FBI can now be terminated.

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.