Global Baguette Crisis Escalates

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Today at 2:07pm, tragedy struck the world. Baguettes were banned for over 40 million stores worldwide on the US and France. Why, you ask? Two words. Max DeVore. This San Francisco teen has been defrauding over 50 million baguette stores and has made 2.2 million dollars in cash. He has exposed the baguette selling world and pointed out its weaknesses on social media. The police found him this morning at his San Fransisco residence, 839 Dolores. He walked away from the courthouse today at 10am in handcuffs. It is yet to be announced how long he will be jailed for, but researchers expect over 10 years. One baguette store spokesperson for ‘La French Baguette’ in Kansas spoke of this tragedy. “We are very sorry for the ban of baguettes worldwide. The system is weak, like many French people, and it cannot stay running and operative.” We are yet to see what comes of the 2020 Baguette Crisis, which will forever be remembered in the history books. Another person who will be remember forever is Max DeVore, who will be in jail exactly that amount of time; forever.

Jeffery Smithers
CNN Today

This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.