UVF commander Jacob "big dick" Newell murdered
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UVF commander Jacob Newell was last night shot dead as he qued for his manta ray dipper meal. It is believed this is part of the ongoing feud between the UVF in Wellington college and the UVF of Grovenor secondary school. Jacob was shot twelve times in the penis and the man believed to be behind the killings is UVF commander Jack Hanna the pair have been feuding since Jacob bucked Jack's bird. This comes weeks after the PSNI raided the home of Jacob and found over £16,000 worth of cocaine and other class-A drugs and over £200,000 worth of designer clothes with some of the designer labels including "mckenzie" and "carbrini". The people of cregagh estate are saddened to hear of the killing of Jacob Newell.
Article written by
Cole Hodgen
This is a satirical website. Don't take it Seriously. It's a joke.
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